[Tyr Zalo Hawk]: 712.The Tyr Files.RTQ.Everyone Else.Jason

Jason: I thought you’d be playing Ar Tonelico…
Tyr: I’M PLAYING MINESWEEPER!

Jason: Well, I’m going to get lunch…
Tyr: Ya, I should too. Ya, that’s right Jason, when you walked in and only asked Sean if he wanted lunch, you were being a dick. You walk in, see a shirtless guy and go ‘oh, he must’ve had lunch by now’, well you suck.

Jason: Your mom is a necrophiliac.
Tyr: Your mom WAS a necrophiliac. That’s right, your dad was a dead body.
Jason: I wouldn’t doubt that.

Jason: I will throw it with me!
Jason tosses himself with a book towards Sean and Sean’s computer powers off…

Jason: I’ve got one: What’s a Mexican’s Paradise?
Tyr: A Dollar Store?

Tyr is singing about eating to Sarah...
Jason: I THOUGHT that was what zombies are weak against.

Jason: And if I cannot see it tonight, I will destroy everybody in this building.
Tyr: I’m glad I’m not a buddy.
Silence ensues…

One evening, Tyr messes around with Jason's phone. Several months later, he calls Jason to talk...
Jason: Hello Tyr Rocks.

Jason: Tyr, I need your help with something.
Tyr: Jason, my solution: Get off the gay bed.

Jason knocks at the door…
Tyr:Go away! No one’s here! Go home and cry yourself to sleep!
He enters…
Jason: Where’s the fun in that?
Tyr: I get to laugh at you.

Tyr: Where do dreams go to die?
Jason: High School.

Jason: Dude, you don’t even need milk for that. You just pick it out of the bag.
Tyr: That’s not as healthy.

Speaking simultaneously.
Tyr: I like to kill people
Jason: I farted when he walked past.
Tyr: Mine was better.

Tyr: Actually, it turns out the Death Grunty’s only power is to give people bananas.
Jason: Do they choke on the bananas?
Tyr: Only if you’re stupid.

Tyr: You know, I don’t wanna write a paper…
Jason: I don’t want to write a paper either, but I have-
Tyr: You don’t matter.
Jason raises arms threateningly for a second and slowly lowers them…