[Tyr Zalo Hawk]: 712.The Tyr Files.RTQ.Friends.The Rest of Them

Tyr: John Mayer, good choice
Tiara: Yeah, I haven't listened to him in a while now
Tyr: Why not? You LOSER!
Tiara: Because Theory of a Deadman is better =P
Tyr: Dude, not even halfway close
Tiara: I know... John Mayer has a lot of catching up to do.... >.> It's getting kinda sad.
Tyr: No no, you misunderstand.
You see, John is the Mayer of this town, and answers to no Deadman with his Theories

Kat: What has the world come to?
Tyr: Tomorrow.
Yesterday is now two days behind us.
And promises that were never meant to be kept are being fulfilled worldwide.

Felix: Dude! It's Bob o'clock!
Tyr: Eh?
Felix: *points at the clock, which reads 8:08*
Tyr: Oh my... it really is.

Kevin: Watch me tap these balls.
Tyr: Dude, you can't tap balls as well as I can.
Kevin: Ooh... look at me. One handed.
Tyr: I'm tappin' them on the floor!
Kevin: I can tap them behind my back!
Tyr: Oh ya, well I'mma come over there and tap your balls.
Kevin: Dude! These are my balls, you can't tap them!
Tyr: Watch me.
A few minutes later.
Tyr: You think this is why they won't let us play table tennis in public anymore?

Kat: Right. Well, ALL guys like long hair.
Tyr: Not as much as Tyr does XD. And, to be perfectly honest, that's no reason for girls not to like it.
Kat: I don't like it because it's heavy and it's a biatch to wash and brush. And summer is so much worse.
Tyr: S'what they all say.
Just a coalition, I tell ya. XD the Girls Who Think Tyr's Obsession With Long Hair Should Be Flattened' Inc.
The GWTTOWLHSBF <.< for short...
Pronounced: gewt-towel-huss-bff

Felix burns his mouth on pizza...
Felix: It's like tasty lava...

Keola: We're taking over the cream puff factory O.o *twitch twitch*
Tyr: >=O HECK YES!
*straps on demonic warlord armor set, and brandishes his Dragon's Bane two-handed scimitar* LET'S DO THIS!!!!
Keola: ALLRIGHT!! *pulls out a Twinkie* they wont even see this one comin!
Tyr: <.<.. oh... it's THAT kind of hostile takeover... *quickly changes into Pillsbury Doughboy Armor and grabs his Toaster Strudel Tower Shield and Icing Trident*

Eui: *shows picture of weird flashing cat thing*
Tyr: RUN AWAY!!!!!!
*runs off to Middle Earth*
*disguises self as a really tall Hobbit*
*loses left leg in a tragic potato accident*
*hobbles around annoying the young folk for seventy years or so*
*gets thrown out of the Shire for getting old too fast*
*kills a wandering donkey for food*
*hunted down by Donkey Rights Activists who claim it was an unprovoked act of Donkey Discrimination*
*ends up winning the case due to unforeseen evidence which proves that the donkey was, in fact, a lemur*
*lives the rest of his days happily, until the arrow incident*
*retells the arrow incident to the young people, recalling all the details of how an arrow was shot near him, causing him to crane his neck back a bit too quickly, causing severe whiplash*
*tells it a bit better than that, and claims his neck is stuck that way because he shot the arrow at something and it snapped his neck*
*thinks it's a much better story*
*dies happily at the age of 6,743*

Kevin: Dude, at the end of that movie, I totally thought she was going to make the baby into a pie.
Tyr: O_O Excuse me? That's sick dude!
Kevin: Well, you heard her. She said she didn't want the baby, and she liked making unique pies. So I just put two and two together and got 'Unwanted baby pie.'
Tyr: Kev... you're messed up.

Flav: Tyr
How the piss did our conversation degrade to choosing positions in a Gay apocalyptic rape situation?
Tyr: You know... I wish I knew <.<...

Kevin: I am also in Speech and Drama.
Tyr: W00T! YOU ROCK!
Kevin: And I'm from Loyola.
Tyr: Oh god, I hate you!
Kevin: Yup, I saw that one coming...

Kat: I'm sorry that I'm such a failure
Tyr: It's fine
*hands you a t-shirt* Welcome to the club.
I'm the Founder and Co-founder, Tyr.
Kat: *takes the t-shirt and shakes you're hand* I'm just a lowly grub.
Tyr: Nonsense.
Grubs at least provide some sort of value for the ecosystem.
Kat: Doesn't mean they're not lowly
Tyr: Higher up than us, you miserable waste of oxygen.
Kat: *fails again*
Tyr: You're pretty good at this failing thing, you'll fit right in.
But don't feel bad if you don't.
Most of us don't.